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I'm living like a fucking troll in the goddamn basement of the house that I'm paying for. Jan enjoyed her new freedom, she had been gone a lot during the weekends. I worked all the extra hours I could for Three Brothers. I also worked the weekends for Roger on side jobs when I could. The kids were old enough to take care of themselves.All the extra money I earned from Three Brothers, I used to make extra house payments. All the money Roger paid me was cash, which I stashed away. I figured once I got my financial situation in good shape, I would divorce the bitch.At the end of the second year of our separation, Jan was gone for most of the week. When she returned home, she looked different. She had plastic surgery done to her face and had breast enhancement work done. She looks at least ten years younger. 'I wondered how she paid for the enhancement work done on her, ' I thought to myself. I knew that both of our insurances would not pay for that type of surgery."You look different,. She never liked oral or anal sex either, and only reluctantly sucked me as a short preparation to entering her. She hated the feel and taste of my semen. For herself, she only enjoyed manual stimulation of her clitoris, and put up with intercourse with me. I don't want to paint the picture of a prude, or someone who found sex dirty. Sex, as I found out, just didn't play an important role in her life.Despite all of this, we loved each other very much. We are very warm to each other, and enjoy life. But gradually, because sex was such a stumbling block, I began to withdraw into a sexual fantasy world based on masturbation, which was often my only sexual release for weeks at a time. We made love less than a dozen times during our second year of marriage, and it didn't change much over the years.Something allowed me to put up with this. Perhaps it was a subconscious living out of the s&m literature which I was inceasingly drawn to. I found out through therapy later, that I was blaming.
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